Learning Opportunities

We've been using Love & Logic in our home since Avi was born and it has been one of the best things I've ever learned. It works beautifully, when I use it :) and has made for, what I believe, is a much calmer home than we would have had if we hadn't learned the skills. Well, part of Love & Logic (the best part, in my opinion) is allowing kids to learn and grow from their mistakes. Instead of getting angry, the goal is to be empathetic and allow the child to live with the consequences of their actions in a loving way. As Avi gets older, I get more and more excited because I get opportunities to use skills that I couldn't use when she was really little, for example, Delayed Consequences. Well, I got the opportunity the other day when I walked into her room and found a page of her library book shredded into about 15 pieces. I tried really hard to be sad instead of mad and we taped the book back together.

I knew that it couldn't end there, so I called the library and told the woman that I didn't want it to become a problem for her but I really wanted this to be a learning experience for Avi. I know that it is really easy for adults to look at cute 3 year olds and just say "Oh, it's okay sweetie" and I didn't want that to happen. I told the woman that I didn't want her arrested or anything but would like for someone to be stern with her. I told her I was fully prepared to pay for the book but wanted someone to talk directly to Avi. I think I found the only person in the world who has maybe never been angry with a child in her whole life. She was desperately hoping that her manager would be back by the time we arrived because in her words, "She's pretty stern naturally so this would be perfect for her. I'm afraid I'll crack." Well, the poor girl didn't get her wish. We arrived when she asked us to but the mean 'ol manager wasn't there yet so she mustered up all the sternness she could and delivered a nice little speech to Avi (it was pretty mild). To my disappointment, there were no tears but Avi did mention not ripping books several times after we got home. She is slowly earning my trust back with one book at a time, so we'll see what happens. I just hope I didn't traumatize the poor librarian!